Dear Diary: Life In Somalia
by VerySpecialAgentTiva
Summary: Little black books can contain anything, even the unexpected. But what shocked Anthony DiNozzo is that contents were a diary. Ziva's diary. "Somalia is a cruel place," she writes, "And I can't wait to die." TIVA!
1. Chapter 1

Walking through the small camp made goose bumps appear on Tony DiNozzo's arms. The rescue mission of his partner, Ziva David, had been a success. She was safe, unhealthy, but safe. He had decided to help patrol around the camp, making sure none of Ziva's captor, Saleem Ulman, followers were still alive.

Arriving at a small, brick building made him on high alert. Quickly entering the building, he drew his gun and snuck around a corner. A he stalked down the hall, something odd stood out to Tony.

_It looks a prison. _He thought to himself.

He quickly crept around another corner and into what seemed to be a jail cell. The door was opened, so he took slow steps inside and looked around. A lone mattress sat in the corner, the rest of the room, empty. Putting his gun away, he walked over the makeshift bed. Dirt and mud covered the top, the smell made Tony want to throw up.

_Who could sleep on this?_

He slowly lifted up the mattress, looking under to see the other side dirty as well. But a large gash in the covering made him look closer. Something black stuck out of the corner. He grabbed it and pulled. A small black note book jumped out, and fell to the floor. Picking up the now dust covered book, he looked it over. The outside was blank, no words showing what the inside contents contained.

_Should I open it?_

Finally making a decision, he opened the book and sat down, beginning to read.

**Dear Diary,**

**Day 3**

_Nothing makes senses anymore. My life is filled with death and hatred when only some few weeks ago I was happy and full of love. No one cares anymore. I am alone in this world now. Tony… has all but killed me. Gibbs has abandoned me. Michael is dead. The people I cared for have betrayed me. Whenever I start to care, I loosen up; let my guard down, thing always go wrong. _

_I heard venting your feelings on paper helps you heal, helps you free yourself from your problems. Only writing in this…diary, could get me killed, shot, beaten, raped… but I had no other choice. I am alone in this world now, only my memories of past friends and family have kept me, let's say "alive". Life and death aren't in my hands anymore though. Any day they could come and kill me. I believe the only reason I have survived this long is due to the fact that Saleem thinks I know where some secret operatives are. He thinks I know important information about NCIS…_

Tony could see NCIS had been tried to scribble out. He took a deep breath and continued.

_NCIS… my time there had saved me for so long. Well, the people there are the ones who have saved me. They have supported me, loved me, and have gone through everything with me. They were my family. My true family. But that is over now. My only family is the dirt on the ground and he rats that run over my feet._

_My life is gone. Somalia is a cruel place, and I can't wait to die._

Tony slowly closed the diary and leaned his head on the wall.

"This is Ziva's?" he whispered to himself in a sigh. Tony quietly stood up, brushed himself off and headed out the cell door, black book in hand.

**Should I continue? Let me know!**

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	2. Chapter 2

Tony leaned back in his seat after the plane finally lifted off the runway. McGee, who sat next to him, snored quietly. Looking down the plane's aisle, he saw a familiar figure only a couple seats in front of him. His eyes looked over her dirty brown hair, bruised skin, and mud covered outfit. Anger boiled inside Tony's heart. His mind flashed back to his sought out reunion with his partner.

_Ziva stared blankly down before looking up."Now you tell Saleem everything he wants to hear, and you try to save yourselves, I am ready to die."_

Ziva's head swiveled around; mostly likely due to the fact that Tony's gaze must have burned into her back. Her head was bent down, yet she had not left the eye lock with Tony. After a few moments, Anthony slowly opened his mouth, almost about to speak, but before a word was spoken between them, Gibbs suddenly appeared next to Ziva, asking quietly to her how she was and if she needed anything.

_That should be me. I should be there for her_

Tony slowly leaned down and reached for his bag.

_Music should calm my mind._

When bringing it to his lap, his intended target, his IPod, was blocked by a small black book.

_I forgot! _

He quickly grabbed to book, and stood, sneaking to the back of the plane, and raced into the bathroom.

_This is wrong, but I need to know what happen…_

**Dear Diary,**

**Day 17**

_Every time I close my eyes, there he is. Not anger or sadness or even hurt seem to have consume him. He looks like the normal, lovable, funny Anthony DiNozzo I have known for years. What I don't get is why when I see him, just standing there, I don't burn with anger. Being here, in this hell hole has seemed to take away all my anger. I used to think that it was his fault I was here. That if he would have left me alone, everything would be fine. I was so full of anger, hatred, death, and betrayal that nothing mattered anymore. But now, I can't even remember why I felt that way. Was it because Michael was dead? Was it because Michael betrayed me? Or that my father betrayed me? And even that out of all the people to kill him it had to be Tony? Whatever it was, I really don't know._

_Saleem came to see me the other day. He did nothing but stare at me. I know what he was doing. He wanted me to break under the pressure, to fall apart in front of him. After I would pour my thoughts and knowledge to him, I would be shot and killed. As simple as that to him. If he had done this a few weeks ago, I would have done anything to die that very second. But with these new feelings, I don't think I would be able to die with honor, with me really feeling I had no other choice. I have a choice now. Life or death. Tony or Michael. Gibbs or my father. Whatever I do, I need to show myself I am not a coward and weak. What I chose will be to show myself I have strength and heart._

Tony silently closed to book. He shut his eyes and put his head on his knees.

_Where was this Ziva now?_


	3. Chapter 3

Tony slowly slipped under his covers, his bare chest still dripped water from his almost hour long shower. Tony had arrived home after him and Gibbs took Ziva to a navy lodge, on account of her exploding apartment was in pieces and not able to house the Israeli. Not she would want to go back there, for too many bad memories must haunt her mind.

_Is she okay with sleeping at the navy lodge? _ Tony thought.

_Are they treating her alright there?_

_They wouldn't leave her alone for the night, would they?_

Tony tried to shake the thoughts of his partner out of his head, yet they crept back quickly, never leaving for more than a minute. Finally, knowing he would lose the war with his mind, he closed his eyes, and the much needed sleep he was craving finally over took him.

"_Get off! Get off of me!"_

_A crying scream made Tony flash his eyes open. He sat up, looking to find a distressed woman, pushing three men away, tears erupting from her eyes. They smiled, a tormenting smile, as they push forward, ignoring her pleading cries. Her face covered by the mass over male bodies that suddenly attacked her._

"_Leave her alone!" Tony yelled, trying to stand up with no success. His legs seemed glued to the cinder colored cement. He looked over at the men; they had the mystery woman on the floor, their dark boots dug into her skin .Their legs flood in an endless motion, jab and back, jab and back, jab and back. Tony could feel himself flinch at every kick. Pain seized his body._

"_Please stop!" He cried. They didn't he glance over at him though but instead had added their fists in the attack on the defenseless woman. She suddenly stopped fighting, stopped moving, stopped breathing._

_The largest man was the first to realize his victim's lack of movement._

_He grabbed his shorter companion next to him and pulled him away, causing the other to stop also._

_They spoke English to each other, surprising Tony._

"_Is she dead?"_

"_I don't know." The largest man said._

"_We should leave."_

"_Saleem will never know it was us."_

"_Come on."_

_They raced away, out of sight of the anger struck NCIS agent._

"_Saleem?" Tony asked himself._

_Tony looked over at the woman. Her face finally revealed, a sight that caused Tony to wince and cry out in pain._

"_Ziva!"_

Tony's eyes exploded open, sweat covered his face. His head snapped back and forth, looking over his surroundings. When his room clouded his eyes, he relaxed.

"A dream." He spoke in short breaths.

_But what if it wasn't? What if that really happened to Ziva? What was she really thinking at Somalia? _

Tony jumped up from his bed and shuffled into his living room, where his backpack sat on the table. Quickly turning it upside down, the black book fell out first. Grabbing the closes chair to him, he sat down opened the book to where he left off…

**Dear Diary,**

**Day 36 **

_Thirty six. Thirty six days of torture. Thirty six days of hurt. Thirty six day of pain. Thirty six days of emptiness. I wonder if anyone knows, anyone cares, that it has been this long. Does Gibbs care? Does Tony? Do they think I am safe? Do they think I'm healthy? Yes, of course they do. My father's lies will tell them anything they want to hear. My father's lies brought me here. My father's lies made me believe Tony was to blame for my hurt and pain. How I hate Eli. Why had I not realized earlier that death and sadness follow his every move? Forgiveness will never grace my lips in front of that man. Forgiveness is gone forever._

No emotion light in Anthony's eyes. He closed the book and placed it on the table once again. He stood up and walked silently to his room, letting one lone tear trickily down his face.

_Forgiveness is never gone, Ziva. Forgiveness is there forever in me._

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	4. Chapter 4

Tony picked up the phone, his body almost trembling with nerves. His finger hovering over the one, Ziva's speed dial number. Sweat started to consume his forehead, until he finally gave his awaiting limb what it wanted and pressed down.

One ring, nothing.

Two rings, nothing.

Three rings, nothing.

Four rings, nothing.

"_You have reached Ziva David. " _The phone stated, Ziva's voice ringing in Anthony's ear. "_If you would like you can leave a message and I will try to get bac-."_

Unable to take it, Tony flung his phone against his wall, anger boiling inside. He brought his head to his hands and sighed, rubbing his red eyes.

"This is not working!"

Taking a deep breath, calming himself down, Tony stood and walked to his now dented wall and looked down. His beaten up phone was now in two pieces.

"Crap."

Closing his eyes, he shook his head and forgetting a phone, went into his kitchen. Grabbing a bowl angrily, he looked over to the clock.

_12:47_

Thinking he could get away with eating a bowl of cereal after noon, he grabbed a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, milk, and a spoon. Walking to his table, he practically threw the containers on the wood. Flopping down, he added his milk and cereal and placed his spoon in, scooping up the tan circles, and slowly raised them to his mouth. A sudden black object that caught his eye stopped him in mid bite. Placing the spoon down he stood up once again and grabbed the book that sat tilted in front of him.

_My little piece of Ziva._ He thought.

Strutting over to his couch he dropped himself down and opened to his stopping place…

**Dear Diary**

**Day 45**

_The bruises sting my sides. The blood covers my muddy body. My blood. He came waltzing in here today, like nothing was wrong. I still have no clue who he is. His words still haunt me though._

"_Yo bitch."_

_I twisted around, but all I met was fist. Cold hard fist. First to the face, then stomach, then back. I screamed in agony, though I know I should have not. He liked it. He took pleasure in it. He laughed as I felt his feet dig into my thigh. This time I bite my tongue, yeah whimper must have escaped, for he menacingly laughed once more. I tried to fight back, but my lack of food caused me to poorly throw a punch out from my laying position. He brought is boot down, hard, on my weak limb. _

"_That's it?" he had chuckled._

_I used my other hand to grab his leg, and pulled, but to a no effect came. Only a kick to the face could release my grip, and that he did. I rolled over, bracing for more, yet nothing came. I heard a cold whisper come from the man. Icy cold._

"_There is more where that came from." Footsteps followed. Then silence. Now I sit here, pain bleeding out my heart. And you know what? The only thing I want now… is Tony._

As the black book was quickly closed and stuffed it into his coat pocket, Tony stood up.

"That's it."

He walked down the hall, slipped on a pair of shoes, then sprinted out the door.

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	5. Chapter 5

Tony closed his eyes and placed his hand on the off-white door that stood in front of him. Ziva's temporary house.

_What should I do? She is depressed. She wouldn't want to see me, of all people. I hurt her._

"_Now__ I sit here, pain bleeding out my heart. And you know what? The only thing I want now… is Tony." _Ziva's diary seemed to speak to him, her imaged voice filled his ears.

_No. She wants me with her. She needs me to hug her, comfort her, and give her something to hold on to._

Tony sighed and opened his eyes. Balling up his fist, he slowly pulled his hand back then let his hand fly. Tony looked away and waited for the knocking sound to ring.

Nothing.

A questionable nothing made Tony twist his body around and face the emending door. There sat his hand, one centimeter away from its intended target.

"Really?" he said to himself, before covering his mouth, realizing it was loud enough for the woman inside to hear.

Tony rushed around the coroner as he heard the door knob jiggle.

"Hello?" a small voice said, and slowly Ziva pushed her head out the door, looking back and forth, her eyes wide. Taking a step out into the hall, Tony finally got a long awaited glimpse at her. Bandages covered her ankles and wrists, small band aids sat comfortably on her face, elbows and knees.

_She must never leave the house._

Shaking her head, she entered her safe haven again.

Dragging his body against the wall, he landed softly on the ground and sighed.

_That was close._

But a sudden thought made Tony second guess himself. Is that what he wanted? Didn't he want to be with her, help her?

Decisions started flashing through Tony's mind, and then thinking he would lose it, he whipped out the little black book and flipped to where his book mark sat…

**Dear Diary**

**Day 47**

_I never thought I would let it would get this bad. I never thought it would steal so much from me. It has left everything I know now in the dust, everything I have learned as a child gone. I worked so hard for what I have accomplished before…this, and now I can't even think about anything else. All my thoughts, my feelings, my spiritual beliefs, shattered by it. I sometimes wish I wasn't always stone cold so I could just let myself except it. It is there now, and I can't let it go. It will not leave me. After that man attacked me, I feel like it is the only thing I have now. It makes me want to cry. And now that I am in this position, I need to get a grip of it. I need to figure out why I love Anthony DiNozzo._

"WHAT!" Tony yelled, this time not caring about anyone hearing. Pulling himself of the wall, he raced to the door, and with all his mental strength, threw his hand against it, and when the knob jiggled once again, he stuffed the book in his pocket, and straightens his shoulders. Slowly Ziva's head poked out, and her jaw dropped.

"Tony."


	6. Chapter 6

"Tony…what are you doing here?" Ziva asked as stood in the doorway, her hand still sitting on the door knob.

"I was in the neighborhood-." He started, finally letting his weary pupils meet with the shocked eyes that dug into him.

"No, that is not true." She stated, standing up straighter up when she detected the lie that rolled off his tongue.

"Why would you think that?" Tony said, letting a small smile grace his lips.

"Because from here to your place is about an hour drive." Ziva finally released her gripped on the door knob and pushed it fully open. With a motion of her bruised arm, she let Tony into her small apartment.

Letting a small laugh escape, Tony followed Ziva and sat himself in the blue armchair while Ziva on the loveseat a few steps away.

"So why are you here?" Ziva asked, letting a clearer self speak.

"I needed to see you. I had to make sure you were okay." Tony said, a soft smile appearing on his face.

"As you can see Tony, I am most perfectly fine."

"Now you're the one lying, Zi." Tony said, shocked that Ziva didn't try to hide the clear fact she was lying. She almost seemed like she wanted Tony to realize something was wrong.

"No, I-." Ziva spoke hurriedly; a fake angry look was almost amusing to Tony.

"Stop trying to hide it. The fact that something is wrong is really clear."

"And how do you know I am worried about something?" Ziva sat straight up from her relaxed position, eager to hear her ex-partner's answer.

Tony slowly placed his hand in his pocket and rubbed the bind of the little black diary with his thumb.

_I have to tell her._

"I found…" Ziva's eyes perked up to meet Tony's.

_No, not yet._

"I found…" he repeated, "a nickel in my pocket!" Tony quickly whipped out his hand from his pocket that had been sitting comfortable around the diary, and showed Ziva a shiny silver coin, that luckily had be sitting there in his coat also.

"Tony, that's a quarter."Ziva said smiling.

"Whatever…" Tony said rolling his eyes, trying not to show the fact that he had been embarrassed out of his mind.

"Why are you here?" Ziva continued edging Tony on, the look in her eyes told him she **needed** an answer, or he would be on the floor in seconds.

"You have been through a lot Ziva, with being in Somalia and the death of Michael-." Tony started.

"Do not bring up his name please." Ziva looked down at her lap, where she was fiddling with the bandages that covered her wrists.

"Okay." He bit the side of his lip, in hopes Ziva was not angry.

"Aren't you going to finish?" She said, looking up.

"Oh yeah. Well, like I said, you went through so much. I thought you would be in pain or be hurting. And now that I'm here, I can tell you really are."

Silence filled the room, as Ziva looked down once more and started rubbing her fingers. Knowing she would not start the conversation again, Tony continued.

"When I was there, in Somalia, they only had me for a few hours, while they had had you for months. They beat me, tortured me, drugged me, asked me some questions, I couldn't let myself say but they forced it out of me. Saleem forced it out of me. I can only image what they did to you."

"Oh Tony, you don't even know." Ziva whispered quietly.

"You want to talk about it?" Tony asked, slowly standing up and then placing himself comfortably on the couch, and comfortably close to Ziva.

"No." Her one word answer gave Tony the temptation to take Ziva's hand, yet he resisted the urge.

"I really wish-." Ziva said, but her eyes caught on something behind Tony.

"Damn it!" she whispered, and quickly stood up. "You have to go."

"Why?" Tony stood up with her, concern in his face.

Ziva pointed to the clock. "They check on me a 1500 everyday and I'm not allowed to have company here. It is almost that time."

Nodding his head, Tony walked to the door. "I will go."

"Thank you." She said, following him.

But as they made it to the door Tony twisted around and pulled Ziva into a tight hug. She stood there arms straight and locked , until she relaxed and brought her hands up to Tony's back, making the hug even deeper. They stood like this for some time until Tony realized that this hug was too romantic, to loving.

_It might lead to something more. She is not ready for that._

Tony pulled back and faked a smile, for he was almost crying on the inside, for he missed her warmth. A disappointed look from his ex-partner was shook off as she opened the door and let him out.

"Remember Zi. I'm always just a call away." Tony smiled, nodded his head and walked out the door.

As Tony made his way to his car, he whipped out his pocket's object and then started running. When he made his way to the driver's side of the car, he flung the door opened and placed himself inside and relaxed. He opened to his stopping place…

**Dear Diary**

**Day 50**

_You never know how dangerous something is until you're face to face with it. _

_I have grown up with guns my whole life. My childhood involved being trained how to use every gun out there, from a 9mm to a bazooka. I was given my first gun when I was 7 years old for my birthday by my father. "This will protect you from the cruel world we live in sweetie." He said admiration in his eyes. He laughed has we went out to the yard and shot it at targets. "Good girl." He repeated, "Good girl." Now I wonder how I could ever love such a cruel man and how I called him my father. _

_And today I sit in a corner on the verge of death because of what my life has been. Guns and death._

_The man, he walks in here, a long and almost angry stride. All he did was pull 7mm out of his pocket and placed it on my forehead. I felt the heat burn into my flesh. It was recently fired gun. _

"_You miss me?" I could smell the alcohol drifting off him. I held my breath and closed my eyes, knowing I had no fight left in me. Love or no love, Tony or no Tony, I was going to die. But when I took another breath, I stopped myself, something came to me. I am not dead yet. The man had gone, disappeared. And this made me realize something that I had not before. I am dying and I'm alone._

Tony took a deep breath and sighed. He was about to close the book when the next page made him stop. He flipped the page open and his eyes grew wide. There was a perfectly drawn picture of him, every detail to a tee. Tony's jaw dropped and he could only say one thing.

"Ziva can draw?"

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**I'M BEGGING YOU!!!!!! **


	7. Chapter 7

**_Sorry for the long wait! I had a lot on my plate the past couple of weeks and I didn't have time to write._**

**_OMG! In Patriot Down I really thought Ziva was going to talk about Somalia when that raped girl came, I was one the edge of my seat begging the NCIS gods to let her mention something about it, ANYTHING! But, sadly they didn't answer my prays._**

**_Am I crazy or was anyone else thinking that too?_**

**_Tell me!_**

**Dear Diary**

**Day 54**

_I sometimes image when I wake up in the morning, this will all be over. Sometimes I think with a blink, I could just go back, back to my friends, back to NCIS, back to Tony. But then, I realize this will never end. This pain and hurt is actually here to stay. I just can't shake it. _

_I have had moments, where I think I can hear their voices, all the people I hurt and crushed. Tony's voice seems to scream in my ear, the anger boiling in his tone. I almost burst into tears. Did I really hurt him so much? Does the man I somehow love, hate me? I just wonder sometimes, did he feel the same way I do right now? Did he __**ever **__even love me? Not knowing makes me think this life I have been leading, is not worthy to last another day._

Tony slammed the journal shut as the elevator dinged, the gray doors eased open. Putting on his best smile, he stepped onto the floor where he knew questions would start to fly. This being his first day back to work after returning from Somalia, he suspected the worst. After all the commotion when they brought Ziva here a week or so ago, he knew people wanted answers. Mostly Vance. Though he was the one who gave Tony, McGee, and Gibbs a week off to recover, Vance wanted the real story. Ziva would properly not talk to him, let alone come back to NCIS so soon.

And just as he suspected, there sat a crowd of people, with Vance at the lead.

McGee, since already being there, was swarmed. People from every department seemed to attack him for information. Tony could hear the yelled questioned from his standing position in front the elevator.

"What they do to you?"

"How's Ziva?"

"Where is Tony?"

"Was it hot there?"

"Are Tony and Ziva together yet?"

"WHAT?" Tim yelled when the last question was asked. Looking around, he tried to determine who had been the asker off what Tim thought was, "The craziest question ever." Making his voice carry over the yells, Tim roared, "Who said that?" The room grew quiet and everyone started to look around, confused glares passing between each person. The last thing McGee saw of the asker was black pigtail racing around the corner.

Knowing one of the eager people would spot him; Tony ducked, hiding behind one of the cubical walls. He whipped his phone out and clicked the nine on his speed dial, McGee's desk phone number. He waited until he heard a small voice say, "Hello?"

"Get them out of here!"

"What?" McGee asked, the voices in the background making hearing almost impossible

"Get everyone out, please! Be a nice little probie!" Tony whispered, so the 'pack' would not hear him.

"Oh, Tony, it's you. Okay fine, but you so own me."

"Nutter Butter will be sitting on your desk when you get back, now please!" Tony begged.

"Fine." The phone clicked down, and DiNozzo could hear Tim yelled. "I'm going to Abby's lab now!" After a thumping fest of feet, that seemed to lead to the back elevator, Tony stood up and walked to the bullpen, caution in every step. That's when he caught Vance's eye.

"Finally." Leon sighed, after getting up from his leaning position on Tony's desk.

"Why didn't you tell them to leave and get back to work?" Tony questioned as he approached.

"Thought it was funny. " He laughed, but that ended suddenly as professional Vance took over. "Now when you get situated, meet me in my office. Time to get the story straight."

Tony gave a quick nod, and with that Leon left. Tony quickly sat down and sighed. He hated that he had to talk about it. It was so hard on everyone and reliving it would just make his situation even worse. Opening his desk Tony took an out an old file and started to read it over, making sure he remembered exactly what the team had been working on before Somalia. A noise made DiNozzo look up. Tony desk phone rang away, just as it always did. Reaching over himself, his hurriedly answer.

"DiNozzo."

"Tony?" a shaken voice made Tony stutter.

"Zi-Ziva?" he quickly asked.

"Tony, I need you."

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THE NCIS GODS WANT YOU TO! _**


	8. Chapter 8

_**No diary entry for this one! SORRY! I couldn't find a place to place it. But this chapter, OMG I didn't even think I could make it happen. Okay shutting up now!**_

_"Tony?" a shaken voice made Tony stutter._

_"Zi-Ziva?" he quickly asked._

_"Tony, I need you."_

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Tony franticly asked shifting in his seat as he heard the cracked voice of Ziva, his best friend and according to Ziva, something even more.

"Just, please Tony. Come. Come please." Ziva's voice disappeared in a heap of sobs and gasps for air. "Ple…ase…"

Jumping quickly out of his chair, Tony grabbed the keys that sat comfortably at the end of his desk. "I'm coming Ziva. I will be there. Hold on." Tony practically vaulted his desk on his race to the elevator after reluctantly hanging up the phone. Rubbing his eyes after he pressed the elevator button almost forty times, something raced through his mind.

"_Not knowing makes me think this life I have been leading, is not worthy to last another day."_

Ziva's words rang through his ears, her words of hurt, her words of pain, her words of death. She had nothing now. Everything she trusted, everything she had, everyone she loved, was not there. She had no one.

"_I'm here though, right?" _

But did she truly know this? Did she truly love him? Did she truly know he was there for her?

"I love her. I really love her." Tony whispered to himself, breathing slowly as he came to his revelation as the doors of the elevator opened. Tony twisted his head to look once more at the bullpen he was abandoning. That's when he caught the stare of Leon. He knew he was leaving, and most likely not coming back. Tony quickly nodded to him then took one large step into the elevator; knowing he would get an ass whooping from Vance when he got back.

"Remember, you love her. This is for Ziva."

Tony sighed as the grey doors shut him in, leaving the world he knew for a whole new one.

Tony's nimble tools picked slowly at the lock that contained her. Before resulting to his rash choice of entering Ziva's humble 'home', he had knocked, yelled and banged on the door for a few minutes, but no brown eyes greeted him, no faded smile opened the door. Nothing happened. Complete silence.

Finally, he managed to squeak the door open and hoped in. Looking around, he saw the place was trashed. The lamps were on the floor in pieces, the couch was flipped over and the glass table was shattered.

"No." Tony panted, as he crouched down, bringing his arms to his head. "No." But a distant noise brought his head up, and Tony stopped breathing.

_Is that…water?_

The sound of water running made Tony stand straight and bolt to the back of the apartment, where the sound had been coming from. He kicked the locked door open and looked around. Ziva's clothes were scattered everywhere, and the mattress was of the bed. "Ziva? Ziva where are you?" Tony called. Slight moans coming from another closed door made him twisted around and charge the wooden plank. It easily broke open. Heat and steam clouded his view has he pushed through the haze. A tan silhouette was crouched in the shower behind a glass door. Tony's eyes widened, and his heart raced.

"Ziva!"

Lunching himself at door, he pulled the door open. What he saw made him cry out. Ziva, fully clothed, sat seeping wet, slits in her wrists, blood pouring into the shower drain.

_**HOLY CRAP!**_

_**:O 'Gasps"**_

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_**THE NCIS GODS SAY SO!**_


	9. Chapter 9

**SAD!**

"Mr. DiNozzo?"

Tony's red eyes looked up to meet the woman that came slowly up to him as he sat in a hospital waiting room. He stood up as she approached. "Are you Mr. DiNozzo?"

"Um," Taking a large breath, trying to make the fact that he had been crying go away in the light, "Yes?"

" Yes, hi. I'm Dr. Hunter and I will be your wife's doctor."

"She is not my wife." Tony answered smoothly.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Dr. Hunter sighed and looked at her clipboard, slightly embarrassed. "Girlfriend, sister?"

"Friend. Well, best friend." Tony sat slowly down again, placing his head in his hands.

"We went through, Oh, Miss David's, vitals and saw that her heart and brain rate went up during her suicide attempt."

"She did not try to kill herself!" Tony yelled, looking angrily up at the doctor.

"I'm sorry, suppose suicide attempt. It looked like she had a psychotic break. Has she experienced and hard situations or large amounts of loss?" Dr. Hunter took a few slight steps back, preparing for an upset Tony to yell with rage. But Tony leaned back heavily in his chair and looked up sadly at the doctor. "Yes, yes she has." The doctor relaxed and stepped closer. "I will need you to tell the psychiatrist about it. We would like to help her. She will be on a 72 hour hold for evaluation and to stop any other attempt." Tony wiped the tears that formed in his eyes on the back of his hand and stood.

"Can I see her?"

"Yes, but we sedated her to let her body recover from the loss of blood and metal pressure. If you want to follow me, I can take you to her." Dr. Hunter started walking down the hall. Tony slowly stood, stretched his arms, and then quickly followed the doctor.

"Oh Zi." Tony's eyes were glued to his partner as he entered her room. Ziva lay, sleeping in her bed, bandages covered her wrists. Her old bandages from Somalia were redone and new bruises appeared on her face and arms. The heart monitor beeped slowly, with every breath of hers. Other tubes connected to her, though Tony had no idea what they did.

Tears started pouring out of his eyes, and he could not stop himself. He collapsed on his knees next to her bed and placed his head into Ziva's arms.

"I will leave you alone." Dr. Hunter said quietly ,and slowly stepped out the door.

"Ziva, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I should have stayed with you. I should have come quicker. I should…" Breathing for Tony become hard as he lifted himself off Ziva and gasped for air. Slowly standing he grabbed a close chair and sat by her head, and started running his hand through her hair.

"Please be okay. Please be okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me." Tears started flowing slower. He finally got a grip of his actions. He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out it. The little black book. He opened it slowly to where he stopped and started reading out loud…

_**Dear Diary**_

_**Day 60**_

_He's gone. _

_He's dead._

_He's no more._

_I saw them drag his body through the cells. He had an 11 mm bullet imbedded in his head. I had to laugh. I had to cry. I had to thank the world that he was gone. Those words, those words that haunted me have left me. Those words,_ _"Yo bitch." Make me laugh now. _

_I start to think maybe things are turning around. That maybe things will get better, maybe someone will come for me, maybe Tony… Maybe I will see Tony again. Maybe I can go home and sleep in my bed, maybe with Tony with me. _

_I just realized something. I hate the word maybe._

Tony smiled at the last words. He looked up at the author, as she sat damaged and beaten in front of him. His smile was wiped clean off his face. Looking down at the entry that sat opened in front of him, Tony thought of something.

"No more maybe's Ziva. No more." Placing the book once again in his pocket, he moved all the wires to the side and climbed into the bed next to Ziva. He grabbed her hand and held them, swearing he would never let go.

**Thank you everyone for all your reviews. You all make me smile.**

** OKAY REVIEW! **

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	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the wait. And for the kind of short chapter, I kind of rushed it. But I swear I TRIED! (No diary entry for this no either, sorry!) ;D**

Tony's eyes flickered opened, and a loud yawn escaped. He looked up from where his head had been laying, which was on Ziva's arm. Bringing his eyes up slowly, he stared at the woman in bed, and to his surprise, had her eyes wide open and her gaze set quietly on him. "Thank you for giving my arm back." Ziva whispered, not yet smiling.

"How long have you been up?" Tony in a quiet voice, calm and collected, yet a hint of worry in his tone. He stood up from his curled up position in Ziva's bed and moved to the chair next her.

"About two hours." She said, taking her arms and stretching back into her bed, taking up the room Tony had claimed in her bed.

"So do you know what happened?" Tony asked, pulling the chair he had recently grabbed closer to the bed. "Do you remember anything?"

Ziva's eyes filled with worry and a sad, scared look appeared on her face. "No, Tony. When I woke up, all I saw was you, and I just never realized… where I … was." Ziva's eye's trailed around the room. Tony guessed nothing made sense to her.

"I'm in hospital, aren't I?" Tony could have thought of a thousand funny things to say about how Ziva put it, those words, but only a "Yeah" could come.

Ziva whirled her face to look at Tony, horror consumed her. "WHY?" she begged. Thoughts raced though Tony's mind.

_She doesn't know what happened?_

_She remembers nothing?_

_Then how can I tell her?_

Tony finally decided to do the only thing he knew she would accept, the direct approach.

"Ziva, you tried to kill yourself."

Ziva's face drew back, her lips slowly parted. Her eyes pushed away from Tony, and set on her feet.

"What?" was all that was able to come from her mouth. Tony continued, even though it killed him to see the pain of his words soak into her. Tears spilled out of her eyes as he told her all about the call, the drive there, and how her apartment was trashed. He had to push himself to talk about what he saw when he entered the bathroom. But he couldn't find himself to tell about the diary. Something held him back.

Ziva pulled her wrist to her face and stared at them, until all the tears seemed to have left her body. She finally let her eyes drift to Tony and another question graced her lips. "Do you know why?"

"I wished I did. I was hoping you knew." Grabbed a tissue from the box that sat next to her bed, she took a deep breath. After calming down, she closed her eyes, and her breaths slowed down. Thinking she was asleep, Tony reached into his pocket, almost pulling the diary all the way out. But Ziva's eye flashing opened made him draw his hand out and quickly grab Ziva's hand. Though it was a split second decision, he was happy he did it, as the almost panicking Ziva smiled for the first time as she looked at their interlocking hands. "You okay?" Tony asked kindly. Ziva looked up, her smile wiped clean off her face. "No. I remembered what happen before, this." Ziva looked to her arms.

"You know why this happened?" Tony questioned.

"I remember getting a call. It was my father." Tony face grew pale, anger boiled in him. "What did he say?" Tony growled at the thought of Ziva's father.

Ziva shock her head and began to tear up again. "He demanded my return to Israel , and **will** get me back, any means possible."

**I love including Eli in my stories. Even though I HATE HIS GUTS, I really like writing him into stories. He is so fun to write. **

**Okay, you guys are going to laugh but I bought a NCIS hat and a NCIS t-shirt. It just proves how much of a nerd I am. (Not that NCIS is nerdy, IT IS BEAST, but I have a creepy obsession.)**

**Okay really need feedback on the story please! **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**THE NCIS GODS WANT YOU TO!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, HERE YOU GO! **

"Ziva, what are talking about? Eli called you?" Tony said, shock and anger filling his tone, taking both hands now and grasped Ziva's shaking limb. This time, Ziva's response came in a choked back sob.

"He said I knew to much. And if anyone got a hold of Mossad's information, hundreds of missions that were in action would be in danger. Even NCIS its self could not know."

Tony slowly wiped away the tears forming under her eyes, so she could not cry. "Ziva-"

"He said I_ must_ return Tony or everyone around me was in danger. I don't know if it was by him... or... by someone else. But if anyone hurt you-" Tony's couldn't take it anymore. He felt his heart burst in his chest. He throw his hands over the woman he love, silencing her as he engulfed he in a deep loving hug. This broke both them down. Ziva's held back now tears soaked Tony's light blue shirt while Anthony buried his face in Ziva's free falling hair. They sat there for what seemed like forever, smelling each other, crying into each other, loving each other. Tony finally drew back when he felt Ziva's mouth move under him. She breathed, bringing herself to meet his wet, green eyes.

"Thank you Tony." She whispered. Tony brought himself back into his chair, smiling at her. "Anything for you."

The two sat there, having one their usual eye "sex" moments where they stared longingly into each others eyes. Finally, Tony spoke up. "Hey Zi, do you remember anything else?" Ziva shifted from her spot closing her eyes in the process. "My Fath-, I mean Eli, ended the call saying he was sending a ticket to me. If I do not come on my own will, force will be used. I knew if I went back, I would never return. I would never see Gibbs or Abby or... you." Tony smiled at the last comment, but said nothing, showing Ziva he want her to continue. Ziva opened her eyes at the lack of noise, but let out a small sigh when Tony nodded to her.

"Please go on." he whispered.

Ziva blinked and nodded back. "Eli would end up sending me on some kind of suicide mission again, or hide me in the middle of the desert. That way no one will ever find me. As I told you, I know too much. And since you were the one who rescued me, I knew where my loyalties lie."

Tony breathed out the words, "But in Somalia-"

Ziva bit her lip. "I didn't think I would live through it. I thought it was my time. But I see differently now. Tony smiled quickly, but quickly took it back when the last question can to mind. "And after?" Tony slightly stared at Ziva's wrists.

Ziva's face grew pale as she realized what he was indicating. Her eyes flickered back and forth. Her thoughts whirled in her mind as she tried to get a grasp of what was happening. "Tony...I...can't...I...can't...remember-" Tony looked up as a wild beeping noise took over the room. The heart monitor started to grow faster and faster. Tony looked down at Ziva in shock and panic. Her body began to shake uncontrolably and her arms flailed with her jerky movements.

"Help! Someone help!" Tony screamed, as his eyes exploded with tears. He reached out to her but someone pulled him back as the doctors and nurses filed in. "No. I need to be with her. Let go!" he yelled as he was pulled back further.

Dr. Hunter's voice rang out. "Get him out of here!" That's when a young nurse pulled in out into the almost empty hall way, closing the door, and away from the woman he loved.

-NCIS-

**Dear Diary**

**Day 65**

_I thought that since he was gone, I would not have to suffer as much pain as he put me through anymore. But I never knew such a thing as **rape **could be so painful._

"No." Tony could barley breathe as the diary slipped out of his grasp and dropped to the floor. Though that was all that was on the page, it was big enough to destroy Tony. No one should touch her like that. _Ever_. He looked up to the woman that he had silently read this to. She laid there, a tube shoved down her throat that being the only reason she continued breathing. Dr. Hunter's words rang in his head.

_"Ms. David's blood pressure rose way above the normal level. Her heart couldn't take it. We had to sedate her to let her body recover. The only thing we can do is wait for her to wake up, then go from there."_

"Ziva, no. Why does it have to be you?" Tony looked down at the fallen diary and spat at it. "Why always you?" He shook his head, a lone tear slipping down his cheek. "I should have known. She should have told me, I shouldn't have found out like this!" He leaned down and slowly picked up the diary and sighed. "Never again." He looked at the diary for the last time then slid it under Ziva's frail hand. He stood up, kissed Ziva on the head, and walked out of the room.

**Wow, he gave up the diary. Thats could be good and bad in many ways. **

**Okay really hope you review.**

**THE NCIS GODS WANT YOU TO!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm so so so so so so so so so so sorry about not updating this in forever. As some of you know, I recently updated my other story Crash and Burn and I had to focus on that cause i had some people giving me death threats. soo yeah! Here you go! After a 3 month wait... HERE IS CHAPTER 12!**

"_Ms. David woke up about a half hour ago. She demands to see you."_

Tony could hear Dr. Hunter's words played in his head like a broken record as he took his time getting to the hospital. He knew what he would face when he got there and now he regretted giving Ziva the diary. He wanted to give it to her, but that being the first thing to grace her beautiful eye after waking up from almost twelve hours coma-like state just seemed wrong.

"_What am I going to say?"_

Finally getting the courage and thinking maybe something would come to mind after seeing Ziva, he got slowly out of his car and walked to the doors, hoping this was not the last time he saw daylight.

-NCIS-

**Dear Diary**

**Day 70**

_In Mossad, trust was never learned. It was not important. You met someone and your first thought is "How can they break me?" or "What are ways I can break them?" You never could fully trust __**anyone**__. Never._

_That is was NCIS taught me. Trust, friendship, and love. Three things I never knew. For the first time in my life, I had a true family. And why did I leave them? For I thought I had lost trust in everyone. Mostly the ones closest to me. Well, the one closest to me. I left them for this hell hole. To be beaten, attacked, raped…_

_How could I do this? I destroyed everything I had with one summer. And I think I can't get it back._

Ziva's eyes grew wet as she read the entry where she knew Tony had stopped. A slight crease in the page, and small scrap, and piece of his hair indicated what he had seen and what he hadn't.

She could remember to a tee what happened the day she wrote this…

_July 23__rd__ 2009_

_Horn of Africa_

_Curled in the corner of her chamber, Ziva had her head on her knee's, breathing deeply. She blinked in the darkness of her small arm cave she had created, trying to get the dirt out of her pale brown eyes. She hear shouting and small amounts of gunfire from the outside door that remained locked, but didn't lift her head to find out what was happening. This was a daily occurrence._

_What did cause her to lift her head slightly was a jingle of the lock at the only access point in the whole building. When she saw steel toed boats enter, she covered her face once more, for only one person ever had on such disgusting things. Her rapist. Her body ball grew tighter when he approached her cell and she heard him giggle._

"_Dinner."_

_She lifted her eye slightly to look at him, but covered it again when he only had a small piece of bread in his hand. He laughed again as he leaned on her cell door._

"_Oh come on. You can trust me."…_

Ziva leaned her head back on the pillow, taking her arm to wipe her face of the tears that had started to fall. That's when a knock on the door brought her attention to the awaiting enterer. She already knew who it was.

"Tony, come in."

As she knew, Anthony DiNozzo slowly entered, with a sad and confused look, but a full smile. "Zi, I'm so happy you are awake. I stayed with you all last night, but Boss said I had to come in because I had missed work the other day. Of course he knows my "sick day" wasn't really a sick day." Tony rambled as he sat himself down next to her.

"Did they ask about me? They don't know I'm here, right?" Ziva asked with a little concerned.

Tony shook his head."I made sure they didn't."

Happy to know her secret was safe, she went back to the situation in hand, "Now, please tell me where you got this," Ziva said holding up her diary," and why you were reading it?"

**Now I am so excited for the next chapter! I have a huge plan in mind and to let you know it is a little crazy, and a very impotent to the climax of the story. So i promise to update this sometime either this weekend or next week but you don't have to wait 3 retarded months like you had to before. I know I'm stupid...NOW...**

**REVIEW! THE NCIS GODS WANT YOU TO!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I want you all to look at this very carefully.**

**Dear Diary: Life In Somalia Chapters-13 Reviews-235 Hits-18,018 Favs-64 Alerts-134**

**You guys all rock my world! Thank you sooo much!**

**This chapter is dedicated to all you readers for being your review happy selfs!**

Ziva's eyes torn him apart. They seemed to ripple with energy, but her will power held her back from releasing it. Her body faced him, yet those eyes didn't focus. They were an empty abyss. Her face screamed for answers yet no words were spoken as the two stared at each other. He didn't want the truth to come out. He had made the wrong choices and now had to face the consequences. There was no running anymore.

Finally, the silence was broken as Tony licked his lips and sighed. He cupped his hands together and spoke, "I found it in Somalia."

Ziva shock her head and pressed on, "And why didn't you leave it there?" Tony flicked his eyes back and forth. She lay there, seeking the answers that he held close and he had no choice but to let them go.

"When I found out it was yours, I couldn't just leave it there. It was something you lived with for those hard 5 months. You held it close to your heart, and by the way you are holding it now, I can tell this is true." His gaze was set to her hands that sat on her chest with the diary cradled in between. She followed his set sight, and quickly brought her hands with the diary down and to the opposite side of her bed, out of his view.

"Yes, I hold it close. It holds secrets that I can never take back. But you would know this, yes?" Ziva faced him again, pounding him for answers once more.

"Yeah I read it. But how could I not, you would not talk to me!" Tony's voice raised a little, but when the shocked look on Ziva's face came, he brought it back down and settled once more in his seat.

Ziva spoke "I held these things back from you because this is my fight, not yours." Her voice seemed calm, but she spat the last words.

Tony shook his head and leaned forward. "You're wrong."

"No I-"

He cut her off. "This has never been just your fight. It's _our_ fight. Me and you. Yes I invaded your privacy, but only to help you because I care. Ziva, do you realize you tried to kill yourself over this? And you called me to save you, because _it's us against everything_. It's been me and you ever since you walked into that bullpen almost 5 years ago." Tony let the words sink in. Ziva anger boiled down as she brought her head to look at the ceiling.

She only breathed out a, "Oh…"

Tony finally continued. "You can trust me."

Ziva snapped her head to look at him. "What did you say?"

Tony leaned his hand forward and grabbed hers, reassuring her. "You can always trust me." Ziva's face hardened

_He laughed again as he leaned on her cell door._

"_Oh come on. You can trust me."…_

She blinked a few times, remembering those words he said. The one who destroyed her world. He spoke those same words and they sent fear pulsing through her veins. He said them with a cold grin, something that haunted her every thought. But now these words brought a kind of warmth to her. They replaced those dark thoughts with some kind of happiness. She smiled and looked at Tony.

"I can."

Tony grinned at the look on her face and rubbed her now warming limb. Staring at her brown eyes, he finally brought his face down and kissed her hand. "And I trust you."

Ziva nodded and looked out the window at the diming sun, but when she turned her head back to Tony, her smile was clearly gone, only to be replaced by a mix of fear and anger. "What are we going to do about my father? I already missed the opportunity to go to him on my own will."

A questionable and confused look appeared on Tony's face. "You were going to go back to him?"

Ziva shook her head, trying to get rid of the thoughts of how her life was almost taken by her own hands. "I can't remember…"

Tony eyes grew wide and he squeezed her hand tighter, remembering the last time she spoke this.

_Ziva's face grew pale as she realized what he was indicating. Her eyes flickered back and forth. Her thoughts whirled in her mind as she tried to get a grasp of what was happening. "Tony...I...can't...I...can't...remember-" Tony looked up as a wild beeping noise took over the room. The heart monitor started to grow faster and faster. Tony looked down at Ziva in shock and panic. Her body began to shake uncontrollably and her arms flailed with her jerky movements._

_"Help! Someone help!"_

"Ziva, it's okay. You don't have to remember. All that matters is that you are okay now."

Ziva could see the panic that had consumed his body. "I'm okay. Don't worry, I'm okay." She whispered, calming him down.

He let out a sigh, "Thank god. I don't think I could deal with you going through that again. I would just die."

Ziva let a small smile appear, but it was gone as she nodded. "We have to figure out what Eli is going to do next. Knowing him, he already sent agents to come and get me. We only have a few days until they find out where I am. I don't know what to expect, but it will most likely result in a big boom."

"Bang."

"Bang?"

"Bang."

"Oh bang." Ziva nodded, almost laughing at her mistake and his correction.

"Ziva do you know what we have to do now?" Tony brought his free hand through his hair, hoping he didn't have to spell it out to her.

Sadly he did. "No, what?"

"We have to tell Gibbs what happened."

**Once again, thank you all for making this story what it is today. I can't believe this! Blow my mind away! HUGE HUGS for everyone of you!**

**NOW PLEASE REVIEW!**

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	14. Chapter 14

**Yes yes everyone. I'm still here. I just didn't get around to updating this until... now. So hope you enjoy. ;)**

Ziva clutched the phone that sat uncomfortably in her hand. The endless tapping of skin against plastic annoyed her, but it was the only thing distracting her from the inevitable future, telling the truth. Tony had said after work he would try to make Gibbs follow him to the hospital and would call before their arrival. Ziva didn't think this "_plan_" would work. Gibbs, being the man of answers, would need to know why he was going to be pulled away from his bourbon and boat to go on what he would probably think a waste of time. Tony had promised not to tell Gibbs Ziva was in the hospital because of… problems. She didn't know how Tony would do it, and kind of hope he wouldn't.

Ziva didn't want anyone to know, not even Gibbs, about her fears, her problems, and her memories. They haunted her every lonely thought and saying she was scared, had never crossed her mind only until recently.

Tony had said yesterday after the heavy conversation about her read and reread diary, that if he was to protect her from her father's grasp and the claws of death he would need the only man he truly trusted to help him. Ziva had pondered on the words "protect". She had never wanted protection before. It was either her being her own protector or she was the protection for others. Ziva never before needed to be the shielded one. This brought her back to the conversation that Tony had enforced after all that had happened.

_When Ziva didn't respond to his words, Tony became cautious. He approached with his next sentence carefully. "Zi, admitting what happened, opening up, letting the ones who love you in, will help figure out the truth about why you tried to take your own life." Ziva didn't answer to this right away either. Tony thought the words "ones who love you…" or "take your own life." that made her ponder, but what she said confused him._

"_So you think it too?" She looked up and bit her lip._

"_Think what?"_

"_That my father calling wasn't the only thing that caused me to end up…" Ziva looked around the room, pointing out what she had indicated._

_Tony reached for her hand once more. He had seemed to do this very often now, the point of it alluding his words. "Your apartment was trashed. All your stuff scattered. I don't know why you would do that. Freak outs aren't your thing. You have always been strong, you always will be. But that point, what really brought you to that point of no turning back is what I'm concerned about."_

_Ziva tired with all her power to hold back the tears that came but in the end a few slipped out. "The rape?" she questioned, wiping the tears with the back of her hand._

_Tony sighed, taking his thumb and brushing away a missed tear. "Maybe. But maybe something deeper as well."_

_At this Ziva had shook her head. "I really wish I knew…."_

Ziva brought herself out of her own mind to glare at the diary that hung of the side of her end table. Picking it up she begin reading once more, hoping to gain more insight on why some parts of her mission in Somalia were complete blanks…

**Dear Diary,**

**Day 75**

_It rained yesterday._

_And it never rains._

_For my whole life I have cherished rain as a gift from God. Whenever the sky opened and water hit land, my face lights up. As a child I would race outside and let the water consume me for rain in Israel is as rare as an eclipse .Me, Ari and Tali would jump in forming puddles and opening our mouths to let the water run down our burning throats. Mother would always yell at us to come in, but we would never listen._

_I remember my first days in Washington. It rained. The need to run outside and play grew in my heart, to find my sister and brother and jump and smile. But as I was taught, orders beat heart and the mission, my mission, had to be continued._

_I did get to spend my first rain in America with some special though. And I still smile at the memory to this day._

Images of cold pizza and stale coffee flashed in her mind as she closed the diary and sat in silence. Ziva remember that during her days in Somalia, the thought of Tony had kept her strong and made the will to survive grow. She knew what Tony had read in her diary. He read a lot that she sometimes wished he hadn't. But Ziva always knew in the back of her mind that Tony knowing these personal thoughts made it easier for him to survive with the images of Ziva's blood pooling under her trembling body before slowly oozing down the drain. Ziva shook at the thought but let in drift quickly away as the phone call she dreaded came. Taking a deep breath, she slowly answered.

"Hello?"

A curse answered her. "Shit!"

Though the word was uncommon from his lips, Ziva knew whose voice it was. "Tony?"

"Oh sorry Zi. Some dumb ass just cut me off."

"Oh…"

"I got Gibbs on my tail. We will be there in 10 minutes."

Ziva's breath hitched. "That soon?"

"Are you not ready?" he questioned, almost scared of her answer.

"No, I am. Just nervous."

Tony suddenly laughed. "My ninja, nervous? Never thought I would live to see the day."

"Tony." She smiled into the phone.

"I can take the long way if you want. I would get there in about 25 then. Gibbs would be pissed, but -"

"Would you?" Ziva never felt this _scared _before. She would never admit the feeling though. It felt like she had just broken her mother's favorite vase and she had to face the anger that was to come from both her parents.

"Anything to make you feel better." Ziva could feel meaning behind the words, but she didn't comment.

"Thank you." She simple stated.

"Okay, see you in… 23 minutes."

"Bye Tony."

"Bye Ziva."

She heard him hang up and she sighed. "I love you."

-NCIS-

Ziva knew they would be here soon. She dreaded the moment, but she promised to stay strong. She glared out the window, for she had a perfect view of the main entrance of the hospital.

_I can't wait to get out of here._

"Hey, you can't go back there!" a sudden yell from the hall made Ziva flick her head to the door to her room which sat cracked open.

Gun fire hit her ears as yells of horror broke into the air. Leaning down, Ziva grabbed the knife that Tony had given her yesterday that sat shoved under the bars of her bed.

_Rule #9_

Heavy footsteps seemed to lead to her room. She quickly counted each pair.

_1…2…3…4…5_

Her door flew open in vulgar. They were masked and dressed heavily in black. All stared blankly at her, only one smiled.

"Miss David. We have been looking everywhere for you."

**DUN  
**

**DUN**

**OH MY GIBBS!**

**Will try to update sooner, but I can't promise anything... sorry. :( BUT ****I WILL TRY THOUGH! **

**NOW PLEASE REVIEW!**

**THE NCIS GODS WANT YOU TO! **

**So you should all check out my best friend LyssLovesTiva33's fic New Found Angel! http :/ / www .fanfiction. net/s/6560075/1/New_Found_Angel (without spaces) It's amazing (: She's awesome!**


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